My parents...

Today I literally said the words to my mother "Id be nothing without you." And yall have no idea how serious that statement is. My family has always been the most supportive people Ive ever seen - not that they are perfect - but always there when you need them doing anything and everything they can.

Id like to explain something:

Back in May I found out that I was losing my job due to the loss of a North Carolina state grant that funded the program that I ran. My job was already crazy stressful - But knowing that I had to go to work everyday and bust my ass only to be let go in four weeks was unbearable. At the time my bipoloar disorder was outta whack and the school year was just ending - which means the kids at work were bouncing off the walls (sometimes literally). I didnt have a lot of support at work because the entire organization was suffering from cutbacks. Feeling that I had no way of improving myself other than to leave my position earlier- I left. The leaving early has caused an enormous amount of trouble for me with my collection of unemployment. In fact, I havent actually collected a single penny to this date. We are still waiting to hear from them having done all I can do on my end. I am hoping I dont have to appeal their decision - But if I must, I will, considering I was losing my job one way or another by the end of June whether I was the star employee or not. --->

This whole story isnt one that I have shared. Only my family really knows that I am flat broke & living off my savings and parents. If it werent for the love and support my mother and father showed me I have no idea how I could make it. I really wanted to write about it to get it OUT there - Because lately I have been carrying around so much that I have had weeks of sleepless nights and days full of anxiety and stress. I am hoping my situation improves soon in the way of either collecting unemployement or finally landing one of these jobs Ive waited for - but either way, I cant go on much longer. I have feeling helpless and out of control- and I HATE being a burden on my family. Especially when I know they have a lot going on... But thats a whole other story.